Making sense of the world in lockdown

Somehow it’s almost been three weeks since my first post written from a time of social distancing and isolation. Time seems to have taken on a dazed, scattered quality where everything feels as if it’s both slowed down and sped up. This week has been perhaps the most difficult in a way – the reality of what’s happening sunk in, the uncertainty over the future settled in my stomach and life began to feel much more overwhelming. I struggled to feel motivated to work and felt too anxious to think for much of the week. But slowly I am beginning to feel more contented again – letting those feelings in and sitting with them for a few days was important and, after a long lie in and breakfast in bed this morning with a copy of Leena Norm’s Poetry Zine ‘Doom Rolled in Glitter’, I’m feeling a little more awake and with it than I have in days.

This is the first week of isolation where I’ve found the energy to sit and read and soak in all the wonderful, creative work people have been sharing and making. Leena’s zine arrived this morning (something I’d been meaning to buy for ages and was prompted to finally do by Skye, whose writing is shared further on in this piece!!) and finding an old favourite poem of hers within it felt like a reassuring greeting from days past – if you haven’t already give How to Find Yourself a watch/listen because it really is the loveliest piece.

Whilst feeling a little lost and homesick I’ve spent time writing lots in my journal, which is always therapeutic, but also eagerly awaiting everyone else sharing words and moments from their own lives. It’s been something perfectly expressed over on Man Repeller in ‘I’m Clinging to Personal Writing More Than Ever Right Now‘ and I’m so grateful that, despite being so far away from everyone I care about, I can get glimpses of the moments people are content in, the things they’re afraid of, all the ways in which they are living and feeling and trying to navigate this new version of the world, just like I am. My lovely friend Skye wrote A love letter to Instagram Poetry over on her new blog and perfectly expressed the importance of celebrating platforms that, right now, are all the more important to connect and inspire us, whilst Charlotte (who you may know as Girl On Film) perfectly expressed how important it is to avoid pressuring yourself into turning such a huge upheaval of normal life into an opportunity for productivity over on Restless Magazine.

Outside of reading, this week has also had some lovely moments thrown in. A roast dinner on a Sunday with the fire crackling away, longer, lighter evenings and the excitement to unwrap a package containing the roller skates I’ve dreamed of owning for ages and finally treated myself to. The world feels so different right now, but I feel so lucky to be making sense of it with lots of lovely words and people and the distraction of trying to stand upright balanced on pretty pastel wheels.

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